Birthing Business

Leading a new business is a bit like birthing and raising children. I came to this realization after expanding our business in 2022. We added a Kitchen, Cocktail Bar, and Business Connect Center to a Coffee Shop business we had finally gotten the hang of. We purchased Fort Thomas Coffee in March of 2019 completely ignorant of coffee best practices. Until then, I enjoyed a black cup of coffee. That’s all. My husband started drinking coffee months prior to weaning himself off his addiction to Diet Mountain Dew. I used a French Press once or twice – it looked cute on the shelf. And a Mr. Coffee Drip Coffee Maker until the sleek and simple Keurig hit the scene. That was it. I didn’t race to experience the newest coffee shop. I didn’t research brewing methods. I appreciated coffee but didn’t understand it. So why did we buy a Coffee Shop? It fulfilled a greater part of our mission to embrace community. 

Similar to our decision to have a child. I was never a star babysitter or child magnet. I babysat a bit around the age of 14, but it wasn’t really my sweet spot. I had friends who were professional nannies; ultimate baby whisperers, quick to pick up a crying child. I certainly appreciated children, I wanted them in my life, but I wasn’t studying the how-to of childcare and development. So, when it came time for my husband and I to fulfill a greater part of our mission together and have a child, I was pretty ignorant. 

Lori Valentine waved goodbye as I stood behind the coffee bar at 118 N. Fort Thomas Ave., was a little like the nurses saying goodbye at the hospital as we loaded our newborn into a car seat. “Is this okay?  Are we really being trusted with this responsibility? I mean I went to the classes and read the books, I’ve dabbled a little in practice but…”. But, ready or not, the moment was here and there was no turning back.   

For three years from 2019-2022, we were immersed in coffee and the business of it. We became very well acquainted with roasting methods, drink creation, best practices and proper care of a food and beverage service business. We became experts in our coffee business. When the business turned three, it was already “potty trained” and even started “tying its own shoes”.  Heck, we even left it with the “sitter” every now and then and it was gearing up for “playdates and preschool” led by others.  That’s when we expanded the business. 

In parenting, our child turning 3 was a huge turning point for us. It’s the moment I recall having real conversations at parties and feeling a bit more like me. Until then, our attention was focused on responding to immediate needs, research, and discovery, putting out fires, creating structure, and managing expectations. But after three years, the urgent needs and total dependency had lessened, and we remembered who we were and began taking care of ourselves again. 

It was like that at the coffee shop. After 3 years, we were working, supporting, and caring for it, but also able to just let the shop do its thing.  We even began putting ourselves on the payroll. And just as we hit that stride, we brought not one, but three additions to the community through our business. Three bundles of joy are called Kitchen, Cocktail Bar, and Business Connect Center. We moved into One Highland, a space 4x the size of the original, to expand our concept. And it felt, yes, like having a toddler and adding triplets.   

I’ve never had triplets. I have two incredible children spaced three years apart. I remember the three-year-old looking like a giant when the infant came home and realizing how much more self-sufficient he was than I had given him credit for before another was demanding my attention. But I believe I can relate in part to the overwhelm and exhaustion of having three at once… beautiful, sweet madness. 

Oh, we planned for it to be orderly with smart systems for success. But each came with their personality, unique problems, requirements, and specialized professionals needed to support. And they all needed our attention AT THE SAME TIME. We asked for this! Sweet and utter madness. And while I’d like to say we thrived, the truth is we nearly survived. It took a community of support, but together we made it. Do you see those moms out there with the cutest baby swaddled in the prettiest blanket dressed to impress and you think, “Wow, that mom really has their act together.” I’m here to report, that they do not. Surviving as a first-time mom, I was so disappointed by my unmet expectations to be that beautiful super mom. I couldn’t fathom how every other mom in the world had this thing figured out. They were on top of their game. They knew just what they were doing and looked beautiful doing it. Until my mom said, “Honey, you look like you have it all together.” We’re all just figuring it out and surviving the moment until we are thriving. 

There wouldn’t be statistics out there to say it takes a new business 3-5 years to be profitable if it weren’t the proven reality over and over again. Three years is a milestone. If you’re a parent when your youngest is three, I promise you, it will be a turning point. You’ll begin to hit a stride, remember who you are, start caring for yourself, and invest in friendships again. Until then, your focus is right where it needs to be on raising that incredible child who will be a blessing to your family and community and will make an essential impact on the whole world. You’re doing amazing, sometimes overwhelming and utterly exhausting, but valuable work. If you’re a business owner, ditto. And as people compliment you on the business you’ve built while you’re fully aware it’s hanging on by a thread, just smile and be grateful because, to them, you look like you have your act together. From business owner to business owner, you’re doing great.  Nothing is wrong. This is expected and normal. You’re doing incredible work. Thank you.   

Now, here we are. The youngest, Kitchen, Cocktail, and Connect are three and Coffee is six. We’re moving out of survival mode and remembering who we are and why we’re doing this. We’re enjoying our business and although not yet thriving, it feels like a turning point. And no, we don’t have plans to have another, but we’re not ruling out the potential. We will, however, take care of ourselves again, intentionally reconnect, build relationships, and enjoy our business with our community.

This blog post calls for a Smoked Old Fashioned like a celebratory cigar after child birth. 

Recipe: Smoke a single rocks glass. Muddle in the smoke glass 6 dashes of Orange Bitters with 1/4 oz. Simple Syrup, Expressed Orange Peel, and Luxardo Cherry. Add 2 ice spheres, 2 oz. EJ Curleys Small Batch or bourbon of choice, stir 15 seconds, smoke again, and serve.